It's Okay to be Broken

Today I cleaned and rearranged the stuff in our kitchen cabinets.  I probably called Ben on three separate occasions to tell him my progress and explain where I was putting stuff.  He listens and praises my efforts...even though he can't really possibly care about the cabinets, especially while he's trying to work. 

I may have picked the easiest man to be married to.  He didn't quite choose as wisely as me, I mean the easiest wife probably doesn't make you listen to how she moved the toaster to a different section of the counter.  *Seriously, I'm that exciting*

Anyways, I made myself a playlist of some of my current favorite songs.  Ya know, to listen to while I cleaned cupboards.  You do that, right?  No?!?  Hmmm...it's possible I'm more awkward than I thought.  Who knew.

On that playlist is the song Broken Together by Casting Crowns.  I probably listened to 10 times today (it wasn't a very long playlist,  I underestimated how long cleaning out cabinets would actually take.)

After about the 7th time through it, I you-tubed it so I could catch the lyrics better.  It's lovely.  And so representative of all marriages, no matter what stage you're at.  We all hit times of "drought" in our marriages because so much of life can demand our attention away from each other.  It's tricky finding that balance.  

The song is right.  We are all broken people.  We don't complete each other, Jesus alone completes us.  It's so much easier to give love and grace when we each see our own brokenness.  I don't have to complete him, and he doesn't complete me.  The pressure would kill us.  "The only way we'll last forever, is broken together."

I also listened to Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds (the Elton John version because it's my favorite) 10 times too.  See:  Broken.

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This Time My Vanity Lost

This is what happens in our house in between watching a 7th grade football game and waiting for the pizza to get done at the gas station.  

You have to kill time somehow.  Is there really anything better than a dancing wiener dog?  *rhetorical question*

Our house is divided.  Some (me) think Nelson is trying to dance with me.  Other people (who are just jealous of my awesome moves) think he's trying to get me to stop my dancing.

Two things before you watch: 1 - I specifically instructed my middlest son to AVOID video-ing my rear.  Again, no one listens to me.  2 - My vanity chose against showing the video.  3 - But how can I not share with you a dancing wiener dog video?  

Ha.  That was 3 things.  Not two.  

Shake it Off.

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The complexities of Garlic Bread...

Because I love a bullet-point list:

• Jake (9) just told Lucy (4) to control her anger.  
• Our gourmet supper of penne noodles, jar pasta sauce, and frozen loaf of garlic bread are simmering and boiling and baking.  Wednesday night in this ministry family is craziness.  
• I could, on my own, eat a whole loaf of garlic bread.  I wish I were kidding.  
• I'm going to totally regret feeding it to my family...and it has nothing to do with my poor nutritional standards, but rather the fact that garlic-breath make me want to barf.  And they're gonna have it.  Bad.
• I'll have to avoid it.  After all, in a hour I get to tell a gaggle of kids that Jesus loves them, and I probably shouldn't do that with breath that smells like Hades.  Mixed messages are not good.  
• Lucy just walked in and declared that she doesn't like this kind of food.  It's *probably* because she's eaten a bowl of cheerios, a slice of toast, two hard-boiled eggs (minus the yolk) and and apple in the past hour.  Oh but wait:  She does have room for the garlic bread.  Lovely.
• Every meal I have to yell at one of the kids to GET OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM and EAT IN THE KITCHEN.  It will be a miracle if all four ever obey the rule at the same time.  
• Lucy just came out of the bathroom with her water bottle.  She's taken to filling it up in the bathroom because it's easier to reach the faucet.  I'm all for supporting independence...
• Why oh why did I buy the garlic bread?  Even the dog is gonna have bad(er) breath.  
• How can something that tastes so good, make you smell so bad?!?  I feel like that could be a sermon illustration.  Ben is so lucky to have me.
• Mouthwash for everyone.  
• And just like that, supper is over.  But the mess, oh it's still here.  
• The struggle is real, people.

Wow.  It's only day 8 of blogging.  Just think what is in store by the time we hit the early 20's of October.  Look out.  

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Muckity Muck

Every-other Tuesday night I get to be a part of a Bible study with a group of ladies.  I've been able to do it since moving here...and the group dynamics are always changing, which makes it new and unique with each study.  God has used those studies to mold and shape who I am.  It's been a process.  A long, on-going process.

We are currently doing one called Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer.

The study itself is really fantastic.  Truly.  What makes it even more significant for me personally, is the place that God has brought me to before starting this study.  All the details and circumstances that fell into place, in life and ministry, so that He could use this study to so speak to my heart.  Making His voice clear.  Resounding.  Confirming.

The past 12 months have been ones that I will go back to over and over and over in my head and in my heart.  Always remembering how He worked out good.  We walked through some murky waters, knowing that things would settle and clear.  Knowing that sometimes things need to be stirred up and mucky so that they can eventually be clearer.  Better.  And even though you know that...walking through the muck:  Is never very enjoyable.  It's still muck, even if there's purpose in it.  And just when you think it will never settle and clear.  It does.

In the midst of the murky waters, God gave me a verse.  Isaiah 43:19 NLT  "For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun!  Do you not see it?  I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

Through His Word, He confirmed for us what He had spoken to our hearts.  He gave us a tiny glimpse into His plan, and it was enough to settle our hearts, and strengthen our spirit to continue in the stirred-up mire until the time He saw fit to make it clear.  

He cleared it.  And day after day, week after week, I stand in awe as I watch Him move and work in the hearts of people around me...including myself.  I will never know why He saw fit for us to be a part of His plan here, but I am so thankful for His grace and strength that makes it possible.  

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Loved

We moved to Tiny Town nine years ago.  During the first year here, I met four different ladies through preschool.  We would eventually call ourselves The Fab Five.  It's not something we broadcast...unless you count this.  Ha.  

But they really are fab.  I often think about what it is that makes them...and us...work.  I think it may be the low maintenance that is required.  No drama, no backstabbing.  It's simple really, I get to just be me.  And they get to just be them.  Our kids are friends, and even our husbands have become friends.  It's the best.  

I love how God orchestrates life.  

One of the Fab Five is Steph.  I've blogged about their family before.  Two of her four kids have A-T.  You can read about it here.  Bring kleenex.  Her son Tate, who was also a good friend to my Noah, passed away in 2011.  Their daughter Tessa is 12 years old now, and also has A-T.  Tessa and my son Eli, are "special friends"  aka they love each other.  ;)  

I've learned so much about life, by just watching this family.  They love big.  They laugh, and live because they know pain. And suffering.  And loss.  It doesn't stop them.  It motivates them to just keep going...for Tate, for Tessa, for each of them.  They do not live a life filled with moping, or whining...even though they have every right to do both.  Instead, they walk the difficult line of accepting what is, and praying and hoping and doing for what could be.  

I don't even have words to adequately describe the privilege it is to call them friends.  They have changed who we are, and they have shaped how my kids see people.  Noah saw Tate.  Eli sees Tessa.  Not the genetic disease, or the disability, but straight to the heart of who they are.  It is beautiful to watch.  It's almost impossible for me to talk about Tate and Noah in past-tense.  Noah keeps growing, and getting bigger and older, yet he carries that friendship with Tate as a constant companion.  

Noah & Tate

All this to say:  We went as families, to run a race where the proceeds go to benefit research for a cure/progress in treating A-T.  For this group in purple, it's in honor of Tate & Tessa.  They are loved like crazy.  We (as a family) were finally able to join them this year.  And it was so much fun.  So many memories, tucked away in my heart.  It is a gift to do life with these people.

Click on the pic to see EVERYONE.  My blog layout cuts people out.  Rude.

Also, it turns out that if you enter a small enough race, you have a *pretty* good chance of being a winner.  

That's right.  I got 3rd in my age group.  Sound impressive...until I tell you that I ran/walked while pushing Lucy in the jogger stroller.  There may have only been 3 in my age group.  Do I care?  NO WAY!  3rd place baby.

This picture pretty much sums up Lucy and her attitude about early morning running.  And by running, I mean being pushed in a stroller while covered in a blanket.  That did not, however, stop her from complaining that "she was tired" and the "wind in her face bugs her!"  She's lucky I didn't dump her out of the jogger.  Heh.

Eli hitching a ride with Tessa right before the finish line.

 Oh the stories I could write about these two.  Love them both!

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I'm So Tired

We have had a super fun weekend, but I am spent. Done. So there's No way I can wrap it up tonight. But tomorrow I will!

Until then, I'm watching Once Upon a Time, because yes I got hooked on it (thank you Netflix) and I'm not too proud to say I love it. ;).   I like fairy tales. And Ginnifer Goodwin's hair.

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10:32

As I type this from my phone, I'm thinking  to myself that it's before midnight so *technically* I haven't missed a day of posting. 

Tomorrow I will let you in on the fun, but for tonight this is all I got.

• today I had one of those mommy moments where I lost my ever-loving mind because no one in my family was listening or helping. 

• packing and loading kids for any sort of trip is a ridiculous ordeal in our house. 

•and then we get to our destination and all the chaos is forgotten. Just kidding, I still totally remember. But it seems less bad ;)

•our family is in fact too big for a hotel room with two queen beds and too cheap to get anything bigger. Ha. 

• so thankful for friends who make me laugh, and getting to do a mini trip with people I love. 

•did I mention the insanity of all 6 of us in the same room?:). 

•good night 

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